Is you don’t talk about Walk club. Time to break some rules, time to get real. While it would be convenient to blame the holidays, the Winter, the blues whatever I have to face the fact that I have gained back a significant portion of the weight I worked so hard to lose because of one simple reason — I eat bad shit, and a lot of it.

Why is that so hard to face, and why is it so hard for society as a whole to grasp. When I read about politicians up in arms over the nutritional value of fast food restaurants and the blame they hold, I mentally find myself shaking my head — its the excess of consumption that is to blame, not the Fast food company. Nobody is forcing me to eat two quarter pounders with cheese, a large fry and coke, but I have. Because I wanted to.

Fat people, and I say that without fear of angst from the Internet because I am a fat person fall into repeating cycles of eating remission. Diets last a few months, so does the exercise and then we get lazy, lose vigilance and fall into our old patterns.

The company I work for has initiated a number of wellness programs. We talked about their “walking challenge” at the food day. I think I was eating a slider (that I brought) and a crispy creme. Oh the irony.

So today was the signup, you could do it as a team or as an individual or as both. An eight week challenge, all contestants get pedometers and a list of activities and what they translate to in steps. People are to record their steps over the eight weeks and eat well etc.

Myself and two of my employees formed a team, excited by the possibility of competition and the motivation that being part of this program would bring to our work life. I have to admit, it sounded like a joke at first, but the Wellness Manager went all out.

He had rented for the occasion, a high tech height/weight/body fat analysis machine that you stood on and had your stats discretely measured. When complete the stats were printed out. At the end of the challenge the device will be brought back and we will be re-analyzed to see what the change (if any was from our first measurement).

Despite the cool factor, my printout brought me back to the shocking revelation that I had once again fallen into the age old fat pattern and gained much of my weight back. Yeah. Woo. Sigh.