Ever get in a funk from time to time? I am generally a pretty easy going person, but from time to time I just get a little morose. And I know exactly what is fueling this feeling … Fear of being ordinary.
Fear that I am not a special flower destined to bloom and fill the world with wonder. Fear that there is nothing special about me, nothing that I am destined to excel at, or have others find desire to have. Fear that I am ordinary, borderline if not completely mediocre.
Every time I think about think maybe I will never be great at something, a bit or me dies. And its utterly stupid because I think I am a great father, and know its something I can do that will inspire confidence in my son which could in turn be what makes him excel.
Why isn’t that enough to sustain me? Its human nature I guess. Being a great father is a selfless job, something you do out of love, something that you don’t expect anything in return for.
And thats the crux of the matter really. Love is selfless, ambition and the desire for praise is self sustaining, mental masturbation if you will for our ego’s.
What I need to do is realize that even if I never accomplish anything else in this world other than being a great father, I will have accomplished more than any temporary praise or fame I might receive from lesser pursuits.
Tags: Ambition, Borderline, Confidence, Crux Of The Matter, Desire, Ego, Fame, fear, Feeling Fear, Flower, funk, greatness, Human Nature, Job, Love, Melancholy Moment, Mental Masturbation, ordinary, special, stand outYou must be logged in to post a comment.
